Singing Hamburgers and Suicide Ventures: Better off Dead on Retro Bizarro

Multiple choice question:

Lane Myer is an obsessive young man who likes to

a. decapitate pictures of his girlfriend and post them on his clothes hangers.

b. try to commit suicide by setting himself ablaze, hanging himself, and inhaling carbon monoxide.

c. hallucinate frequently, seeing singing hamburgers and drawings that come to life.

d. all of the above.

. . . it just wouldn’t be bizarro if the answer wasn’t  d.

In addition to all of the things mentioned above, Lane Myer also likes to converse with said hallucinations while his friend snorts Jello, snow, and just about anything he can put in his nose for that matter. He also likes to antagonize his juvenile brother who makes death rays, space ships and chills with high-class hookers.

As he competes for the love of his ex-girlfriend, he avoids the antics of a psychotic paper boy, a pair of asians who learned English from sports programs, and his mother’s meals. It’s pretty apparent that he sucks at life because almost all of these things could lead to his demise, but instead he flees from imminent death so he can  down kerosine and huff carbon monoxide . . . and NOT die. I think the folks who wrote Unbreakable owe Savage Steve Holland some royalty money, because his protagonist just will not quit, even when he tries to off himself.

What makes it bizarro:

1. David Lee Roth Hamburger born from Frankenstein-like experiment

2. Jello snorting in lieu of illicit drug use.

3. self-replicating paper boy.

4. death rays

5. Sorry, have to say it again: David Lee Roth Hamburger!

History/Interesting Facts

The writer and director of Better off Dead, Savage Steve Holland, later went on to work on popular shows like Nickelodeon’s Drake & Josh and Jonas.

As mentioned above, John Cusack allegedly hated this film. There’s a really great interview with Steve Holland where he discusses this and more RIGHT FUCKING HERE.

Pretty much anything else interesting about the film is covered in the interview at the link above.


5 thoughts on “Singing Hamburgers and Suicide Ventures: Better off Dead on Retro Bizarro

  1. Jon Adams says:

    This movie was pretty good dude, I’m going to have to pull it out of the collection and give it a watch through. It’s been awhile.

  2. Vince Kramer says:

    Damn, I never thought this movie was THIS interesting. I thought it was maybe another one of his chick flick movies or something. (I’m not the biggest fan of Say Anything…) I’ll always remember Cusack most for One Crazy Summer though – a movie me and my sister watched 50 times when it was on HBO. And when his mom (Anjelica Houston) kills him in The Grifters, and he’s choking on the broken glass in his throat – that’s unforgettable.

    Gotta buy Better off Dead now. Thanks Kirk.

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